The Guardian’s “Ask Annalisa Barbieri” advice column published a response Saturday to a reader describing sexual dissatisfaction in a six-year marriage with a 20-year age gap following the birth of their first child last year.
The reader, who did not disclose her age, wrote that her 60-year-old husband “won’t make any effort to please me in bed” after what she described as a “really difficult” postpartum period. Barbieri’s response suggested the issue may relate more to aging than diminished affection, and recommended open communication to develop “a new repertoire together.”
The column highlights challenges that relationship therapists say are common but underdiscussed: shifting sexual dynamics after childbirth, age-related physiological changes, and the difficulty many couples face in renegotiating intimacy when established patterns no longer serve both partners.
Barbieri advised the reader to initiate conversation outside the bedroom, emphasizing that her husband’s behavior may reflect embarrassment, physical changes, or uncertainty rather than lack of care. The columnist noted that many men in their 60s experience erectile changes, reduced libido, or performance anxiety that they find difficult to discuss.
Sexual health experts not involved in the column say such situations often benefit from professional guidance. The British Association for Sexual Health and HIV notes that age-related sexual function changes affect most men by their 60s, but effective treatments and adaptations exist. Relationship therapists recommend scheduling non-sexual physical intimacy, explicit communication about desires and limitations, and medical consultation when physiological factors are involved.
The Guardian column appears weekly in the newspaper’s Life & Style section.
Sources
– The Guardian, “My husband won’t make any effort to please me in bed | Ask Annalisa Barbieri,” August 9, 2026. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/aug/09/my-husband-wont-make-effort-please-me-in-bed
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Story synopsis gathered from: Guardian International — source
